What is the right age difference for dating
“The Bible, culture and common sense should be considered. Culturally, you are marrying your own child even if he or she is a consenting adult and the Bible talks about this either positively or negatively,” he says.Is it common sense for a 45-year-old man or woman to marry a 19-year-old boy or girl? Asked whether a huge age gap should matter, Hassan Kibirango; a pastor at Christian Life Assembly (CLA) said it matters when two couples are way out of range in terms of the age gap. If a 50-year-old person married someone half their age, it, in the end, would cause tremendous challenges because of their age gap, like the desires these two would have,” he says.“When a young lady marries someone much older, the assumption is that she is with him for financial reasons and that he is with her because she is easy to control.It is much more difficult when an older woman is dating a much younger person.“Age is having grown up in a certain culture, having certain shared experiences and also having certain kinds of bodies. If you have a mature outlook to life and share my values, I can go with the adage that says that age is just but a number. What matters is the maturity level and whether we understand each other.While some lucky people escape the ravages of age effects, it is a very rare individual who is 60 who is the body of a 30 year old.” Once the sex hormones die down, people far apart in age can lose their emotional connection, says relationship expert Walsh. Otherwise, I certainly wouldn’t date a woman five years older than me or fifteen years younger. If we are compatible, then I don’t see why it should be a problem at all. If a man is responsible, hardworking, caring and cultured, I wouldn’t care if he is 10 years older or younger than me.Marrying someone much younger especially for women is viewed as a taboo in African societies- in the western world it’s not a big deal.Celebrities in their 40s are marrying lovers half their age and no one bats an eye, but it is not the case in the conservative African setting.
“They are insecure, clingy, attention seekers and they are also rumormongers. If you are looking for a fling, they are okay but if it’s something serious; don’t waste your time,” she says. Emmanuel Karegyesa is a Pastor at Eglise Anglican Au Rwanda (EAR) and he says that there are several things to consider if the relationship is genuine.Kibirango, however, says that the Bible encourages Biblical marriage and doesn’t put emphasis on age.Joyce Kirabo, a counselor who deals with relationship and marriage issues says that age is a matter of contention since society views it based on gender.While there’s “no perfect age gap, an age gap is more beneficial to men than women,” says Wendy Walsh, who runs a relationship site called “Seven to nine years in either direction is doable without any big issues, but once you start getting to 15 or 20 years age difference, it’s naïve to think that problems aren’t going to arise,” says the relationship expert at
Older men desire the biggest age gap, searching for women as much as 11 years younger.