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Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.
When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.
When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.
My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.
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ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.
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Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).