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I cringe when I imagine it going into print—and then onto the Internet for all eternity—for my exes to see and future dates to find lurking in my Google results. We’re all humans here, so I’ll do it: I’m coming out as lonely.
It’s a dull sort of pain, like a poke in the eye or the slow ebb of cramps.
I burst into my apartment and cry and cry and cry, standing in the middle of the living room.
It’s an involuntary physical reaction to the lack: of someone beside me on the streetcar, of someone waiting for me on the couch.
“The truth is that we are modern, independent women who yearn for traditional dating and romance. It’s actually quite feminist to admit what you want.” Yet the persistent perception is that loneliness is something empowered women shouldn’t deign to suffer—something that can be fixed with yoga or a new dating app.
Alternatively, it can appear like it’s our fault: we’re too picky, too selfish. That’s why I initially resisted writing this piece.
Then I climb into bed and try not to think, , John T.In 2016 (the last year census numbers were gathered), that number skyrocketed to 57 percent.During that time, the percentage of unmarried women in their early 30s jumped from 10 to 34 percent.But almost no tell-alls explore loneliness in depth. I’ve dropped it in heart-to-hearts with everyone from my BFFs to my mother and watched their faces twist in embarrassment. Melanie Notkin, author of the 2014 book , believes our longing for companionship is often maligned because it doesn’t jibe with people’s ideas of boss bitchdom.“It doesn’t feel feminist, the wait for love: ‘If you really want to be a mother, go out and have a baby on your own.’ But that’s what feminism gives us, the ability to make choices that we didn’t have a generation ago, to have the love and the child with that love,” Notkin says.
Once a week, I grab sushi takeout: green dragon roll, spicy salmon roll, miso soup.