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Courtship and dating are some of the least discussed topics in the church.Yet dating has caused the most havoc, destroyed countless lives, resulted in unwanted pregnancies and abortions, and even split churches apart.It is amazing that most churches and youth groups do not speak about this in their discipleship processes!Every pastor should have church guidelines that include boundaries for how their youth groups should be conducted.Part of discerning the will of God is judging whether or not the other person meets the biblical criteria and qualifications of being a good mate, being able to raise children, and being a family leader. Based on 1 Thessalonians we should be attracted to another person in three areas: physically, emotionally, and intellectually & spiritually (this includes personality).
Money should be set aside during the engagement, and jobs and education should be already secured.If you don't have the money, be simple and modest with excellence on your wedding day. Yet dating has caused the most havoc, destroyed countless lives, resulted in unwanted pregnancies and abortions, and even split churches apart.During the courtship Bible studies should be done together on the role of husbands and wives, and the purpose of children (Genesis ).This will enable the development of a deep friendship to help discern the will of God before beginning the process of committing to each other more formally.Both parties should back off, receive counsel, and pray to hear from God with other mature leaders and/or parents before allowing their hearts to be pulled towards each other romantically.
Courtship based on the biblical model of love, romance, sacrifice, dignity, and covenant implies the following about how two people could begin a process that may eventually lead to marriage: Pre-Courtship Stage A person should not even begin to look for a mate unless they are adequately prepared for the responsibilities of marriage and family, and are themselves emotionally healthy and spiritually mature (When two emotionally needy people get together in marriage it is usually a disaster).