Dating a man who is divorced with children Free adults chat friendship
Many people, men and women, assume that when someone is divorced they made a lousy spouse. Just because a man is divorced doesn’t mean he’s a bad man.As a double divorcee, I can tell you that yes, there were times I made a lousy spouse, but there were times I was the perfect wife! My mother always says, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” or, more delicately, just because he wasn’t right for one woman, doesn’t mean he isn’t perfect for you!While you may have help that frees you up for the occasional vacation, dating with kids at different ages and stages can pose logistical and financial challenges, much like age-stage differences in the couple itself. Do listen if he says he isn't interested in helping to parent your kids, he's tired of you only being available for a weekend relationship, or he can't afford to pick up the financial slack for a single mother with children. So do Johnnie and Janie, Fido and Tabby, not to mention the hamsters, Mutt and Jeff.
Divorcees tend to take things slow, and with good reason.
Be particularly cautious if he's already looking for Spouse #2. Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up.
We all need time to heal and don't want to plunge blindly into the rebound relationship. But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation. If you each have children at different stages -- for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college -- anticipate some potential problems if you're hoping for a long-term relationship.
All I can say is this: Listen to your gut, listen to your gut, listen to your gut -- no matter what others think and how good things seem on the surface.
Be sure to take your time to get to know him, his family, his friends, his co-workers. There is never a good reason to rush a relationship -- especially if you have kids.
You wouldn’t want him judging you based on your ex-boyfriend, would you? Divorced men usually have a different air about them than men who have never been married.